Today, July 14th, our second baby was due to arrive.

A tiny part of me is glad that I haven’t been pregnant in the heat of this summer. Glad that baby feet aren’t currently using my rib cage or my bladder to train for the 2018 World Cup. And relieved that I’m not dealing with nursing a new baby, while catering to a toddler who refuses to walk.

But most of me…most of me is sorrowful.

Because we were supposed to have a new baby today. And because of that, all of the negative aspects of pregnancy and life with a newborn would have been worth it. Our family was supposed to grow in love and number this month, this year–but that’s not the case anymore. And 7 months later, we’re still coming to terms with that.

God continues to provide us with peace on days when we question His goodness and His sovereignty–and believe me, there are many.


Today, we made cupcakes to celebrate the passing “birthday” of the baby we never knew. Funfetti cupcakes for baby Grace, because we believe there is always reason to celebrate God’s graciousness towards us, even in the midst of heartache.


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