Today.

Today, July 14th, our second baby was due to arrive.

A tiny part of me is glad that I haven’t been pregnant in the heat of this summer. Glad that baby feet aren’t currently using my rib cage or my bladder to train for the 2018 World Cup. And relieved that I’m not dealing with nursing a new baby, while catering to a toddler who refuses to walk.

But most of me…most of me is sorrowful.

Because we were supposed to have a new baby today. And because of that, all of the negative aspects of pregnancy and life with a newborn would have been worth it. Our family was supposed to grow in love and number this month, this year–but that’s not the case anymore. And 7 months later, we’re still coming to terms with that.

God continues to provide us with peace on days when we question His goodness and His sovereignty–and believe me, there are many.

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Today, we made cupcakes to celebrate the passing “birthday” of the baby we never knew. Funfetti cupcakes for baby Grace, because we believe there is always reason to celebrate God’s graciousness towards us, even in the midst of heartache.

Levi: 19 Months

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Today, my big boy is 19 months old–well on his way to his 2nd birthday! This was such a noteworthy month for Levi, as you’ll see below.

EATING

Levi is still loving his milk, drinking about 4 sippy cups per day. We asked his doctor at his 18 month appointment if that was supposed to start decreasing at all. She said we can start giving him less milk now if we would like, as long as he is getting a good amount of dairy in his diet. We have considered doing 3 cups of milk and 1 cup of water per day, to cut back a bit on how much milk we’re buying, but we’ll play that by ear.

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This was a big month for Levi in terms of trying new foods–mostly because our CSA started this month. He tried red beets, turnips, bok choy and radishes…and he wasn’t a big fan of any of them. Hah! He will still eat most anything else though and he is even starting to like sandwiches again, which is nice.

SLEEP

Nighttime sleep is still the same. Bedtime is at 7 PM and he’ll wake up between 7:30 and 8 AM.

I tried dropping his morning nap a week or two ago because he seemed to be having some napping issues (in hindsight, I think this was due to teething). He did okay with it as long as we were out of the house during the morning hours, but his afternoon nap ended up being shorter than I would’ve liked. He seemed overtired. So I’ll probably try it again with him in another month or so. In the meantime, he is now back to taking a 1.5-2 hour nap around 9 AM and then another 2 hour nap around 1-1:30 PM. So I’m not going to mess with a good thing!

WAKETIME

Levi has grown to love the zoo and the pool this summer! We bought a small kiddie pool for our backyard this month and he has really enjoyed sitting in it and playing with his toys.

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I would be a little frightened too, big guy!

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This month, we also started going to the library on a weekly basis and Levi can’t get enough. I think I could drop him off there for 5 hours and he would be totally content (and every book would be pulled off the shelves!). We have been checking out about 10 books per week and every day he will flip through them all, “reading” to himself. It has been a really fun hobby for us to have and we have also made some new mama/baby friends who we see each week at story time.

MOTOR SKILLS

Not walking…still! At his 18 month appointment, his doctor referred us to a physical therapist who may be able to motivate him. His pediatrician suspects he may have low(er) muscle tone in his extremities. That and his cautious temperament may be working against him in this department. We have sent our completed questionnaire back to the physical therapist (regarding tasks he can do, both mentally and physically), who will determine the best course of action for him. We (and his doctor) aren’t super concerned at this point, and we know therapy can only help him along.

One thing that was really encouraging was, as I was filling out the questionnaire, it showed that he was right on track (or advanced) in every other category of development besides gross motor skills. His fine motor skills are great and his communication skills are above average!

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Levi did start attempting to stand on his own this month (without support). He can hold himself up for several seconds and then he plops down on his butt. He also became really skilled at using his walker this month, learning how to turn it to get from room to room and also how to back up if he runs into a wall or furniture.

COMMUNICATION

This month has been incredible in regards to how many words Levi can say. All of the sudden, he became a little parrot, mimicking everything we say to him! It has been really fun. This dude is so talkative, from the minute he wakes in the morning until he is put down to bed at night! Knock on wood, but his screaming fits and tantrums were much fewer this month. Here is a list of some of the words he learned to say this month…the ones I can remember anyway:

Please and Thank you – he’ll even say them without being asked, in the correct context!

Bird, bear, giraffe, hippo, cat – sometimes he can recognize these animals in books too

Several animal sounds

Ready!

Milk, snack, dinner, bath, slide, play

Bye bye

Strawberry, french fries, chicken, cherries

Grandpa (sounds like “pa-pa” right now) and mommy

Three (we’ll say “one, two…” and he’ll say “three!”)

Names of his friends: Jubi, Sethy, and Peter (this comes out as “Pee-ta-pee” and it’s hilarious!)

TEETHING

Levi was a bit clingier and fussier a week or two ago, for several days straight. Turns out one of his canines finally popped through after 1.5 months of teething pains. It was his top left canine–and the right one is not too far behind. These has DEFINITELY been the worst of his teeth yet! Total tooth count: 13.

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EVENTS

Nothing too crazy as far as events go! After our FL trip, we decided to lay low this month. A few trips to the zoo and playground, but no big events to speak of.

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Kissing a photo of his Uncle Scott!